Today jokes
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A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her? It was a bright, sunny day.
If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet? Because it wasn't raining.
What doesn't get any wetter no matter how much it rains? The ocean
What is a Mexican weather report? Chilli today, hot tamale.
If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet weather? An umbrella.
Why is it so wet in Great Britain? Because of all the kings and queens that reigned (rained) there.
What person adds best in hot weather? A summer.
What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day? A wet one.
If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning? The conductor.
Who is it that everybody listens to but nobody believes? The weatherman.