Today jokes
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Wife to Husband: I'll have you know I've got the face of a teenager! Husband to Wife: Then you should give it back, you're wearing it out.
Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Don't worry, I don't expect anyone will notice.
Fred: Do you like my new hairstyle? Harry: In as much as it covers most of your face, yes.
You can read his mind in his face. Yes, it's usually a complete blank.
First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face. Second Witch: It's because he's a hoptimist.
How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face? I forgot to wet the soap.
Boy monster: You've got a face like a million dollars ! Girl monster: Have I really ? Boy monster: Yes - it's green and wrinkly !
My teacher's got a pretty face if you can read between the lines.
Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast. Henry: If you're so smart, what did I have? Counselor: Eggs. Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!
What is the hottest part of a man's face? His sideburns.