Today jokes
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How does a farmer send messages? By e-i-e-i-o-mail.
What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer? A dressmaker sews what she gathers, a farmer gathers what he sows.
Why are farmers cruel? Because they pull corn by the ears.
What did the farmer say when all his cows charged him at once ? I'm on the horns of a dilemma here !
Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar ? He wanted sweet and sour pork !
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? Wheres my tractor!
Farmer Brown put up a pig-shaped weather vane, but he's not happy with it. Instead of pointing with the wind, the pig vane keeps pointing toward the feed trough.
Farmer Giles is so interested in conserving energy, he built a pig-powered car. He has to get rid of it, though. Every time he turns a corner, the tires squeal
Farmer Jones bought a herd of pigs from a Roman farmer who moved into the next valley and boy, is he sorry. The hogs won't come to the feed trough unless he calls them in Pig Latin.
FARMER: Did you sleep well last night? GUEST: No, the bed was soft and the air was fresh, but an old sow kept pushing at the door. FARMER: Never mind her. She always gets upset when we rent out her room.