Today jokes
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What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn't eat another mortal.
Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.
What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.
Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads? Because they're headcases.
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.