Today jokes
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Teacher: I'll call you Fred Smith then. Pupil: My dad won't like that. Teacher: Why is that? Pupil: He doesn't like people taking the Mickey out of my name!
I failed every subject except for algebra. How did you keep from failing that? I didn't take algebra!
Teacher: Are you good at math? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!
Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river? Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!
Teacher: You're new here aren't you, what's your name? Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith
Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Father: I hear you skipped school to play football Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!
A history joke Teacher: When was Rome built? Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that? Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!
Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were. Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!
Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!