Today jokes
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Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day? Pupil: The school bus!
Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth! Pupil: What?, and get bitten!
Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you? Pupil: Not very much!
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: My little sister ate it!
Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late? Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept. Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year? Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!