Today jokes
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An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing
Mother: What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write? Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!
Teacher: Didn't you hear me call you? Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!
Why was the headmaster worried? Because there were too many rulers in school!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because his class was so bright!
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils!
Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to? Pupil: Nobody I know!
What's yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A dead school bus!
Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper. Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either!