Today jokes
-
'I'm not going to school today,' Alexander said to his mother. 'The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don't like me.' 'Why ?' 'Firstly, you're 35 years old. Secondly, you're the principal.'
Boy to Friend: I'm sorry, I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.
'Ann!' the teacher shouted one day at the girl who had been daydreaming out the window. 'If India has the world's second largest population, oranges are 50 cents for six and it costs $3 for a day return to Austin, how old am I ? 'Thirty two!' 'Why did you say that ?' 'Well, my brother's sixteen and he's half mad !'
Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing, dear ? Jane: Yes, and we're going again tomorrow. Mother: Really ? Why's that ? Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.
Why were you late ? Sorry, teacher, I overslept. You mean you need to sleep at home too !
Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it ? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me ?
Our teacher talks to herself does yours ? Yes, but she does't realise it, she thinks we're actually listening !
Teacher: Why didn't you answer me ? Pupil: I did, I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you !
Teacher: I'd like to go through one whole day without having to tell you off. Pupil: You have my permission !
The brain is a wonder ful thing Why do you say that ? Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class !