Today jokes
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Teacher: Can you count to 10? Fred: Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Teacher: Now go on from there. Fred: Jack, Queen, King.
Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!
TEACHER: Jackie, take 932 from 1,439. What is the difference? Stella: That's what I say, what's the difference`?
Fred: I've added these figures ten times. Teacher: Good work! Fred: And here are my ten answers !
Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Jackie: Nine. Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight. Jackie: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!
"Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!"
How are you doing in arithmetic ? I've learned to add up the zeros, but the numbers are still giving me trouble.
Fred: I got 100 in school today. Mother: Wonderful. What did you get 100 in? Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well, at least you can add !
If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? One dollar. You don't know your arithmetic. You don't know my father !
Jackie stood quietly as her father examined her report card. "What is this 45 in math?" asked her father. "I think that's the size of the class," she said quickly!