Today jokes
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If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left ? I don't know. Why not ? In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges.
The teacher was giving her pupils a quiz on counting. Jackie got things started by counting from 1 to 10. "Now, Fred," said the teacher, "you take over, beginning with 11." "11, 14, 23, 42, 26," said Fred. "What kind of counting is that'?" asked the teacher "Who's counting'?" replied Fred. "I'm calling signals."
Teacher : Tommy, put some more water in the fish tank ! Pupil : Why, Miss, I only put some in yesterday and he hasn't drunk that yet !
Teacher : Were you copying his sums ? Pupil : No Sir, just seeing if he got mine right !
Teacher : What are you reading ? Pupil : I dunno ! Teacher : But you're reading aloud ! Pupil : But I'm not listening !
Teacher : What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air ? Pupil : It's stolen !
Teacher : Make up a sentence using the word lettuce ! Pupil : Let us out of school early !
Teacher : Billy, please don't whistle while studying. Billy : Oh, but I'm not studying - just whistling !
Teacher : Give me a sentence with the words defence, defeat and detail in it. Pupil : When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go before detail !
Teacher : If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took three what would you have ? Pupil : A fight !