Today jokes
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What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another ? A parson to parson call !
What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau ? A wedding ring !
What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone ? A lot of crackling on the line !
When doesn't a telephone work underwater? When it's wringing wet!
Caller: Operator! Operator! Do you know my boyfriend's line has been busy for an hour? Operator: No, but if you hum a few bars, I might be able to sing along with you.
What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants? Bell-bottoms!
How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal.
Party Host: Hello? Phone Caller: I'm trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima. Could you please ask if anybody at your party knows her? Party Host: I'd be glad to. Please hold on. (shouts) Excuse me, but does anybody know Ima Nidiot?
Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!
Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know what's wrong with my phone, but I can't make long distance calls any longer! Operator: Don't worry. Your long distance calls are long enough already!