Today jokes
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Why did the girl sit on her watch? She wanted to be on time.
Julie: What time is it? Counsellor: Three o'clock. Julie: Oh,no! Counsellor: What's the matter? Julie: I've been asking the time all day. And everybody gives me a different answer!
What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch.
Why did the kid put his clock in the oven. He wanted to have a hot time.
What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen? Time to get it fixed.
Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work overtime.
One day a man met three beggars. To the first he gave a dime, to the second a dime, and to the third a nickel. What time was it? A quarter to three.
Why is the time in the USA behind that of England ? Because England was discovered before the USA !
Do you know the time ? No, we haven't met yet !
1st Roman Soldier: What is the time ? 2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII !