Today jokes
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Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream. I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?
Waiter, what is this stuff? That's bean salad sir. I know what it's been, but what is it now?
Waiter, I can't seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup. Would you expect to find angels in angel cake?
Waiter, your tie is in my soup! That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.
And how did you find your steak sir? Well, quite accidentally. I moved this tomato slice and there it was
Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for years. Diner: Well, bring me some you haven't had around for that long.
How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb? None, a burned out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.
Waiter, waiter! There's a dead spider in my soup. Yes, ma'am, they can't stand the boiling water.
Waiter, waiter! There's a spider in my soup. Send for the manager! It's no good, sir, he's frightened of them, too.
Waiter, waiter! What's this creepy crawly thing doing in my dinner? Oh, that one ? he comes here every night.