Today jokes
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Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio? The nearest ISOBAR!!
The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren. One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. "I just got some news, Mom," he said. "The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They've decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?" "What do I think?" his mother said. "Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don't think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!"
Q) How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in fair weather? A) He's got bugs on his teeth.
If you are standing in the main street of Amsterdam, and can't see the clock tower of the Central Railway Station, that means it is raining. If you can see the clock tower, that means it is about to rain.
Years ago, Nebraskans got tired of leaning into the wind, having their top soil blown away, and chickens laying their eggs two and three times. Seems the wind continually came down from Canada, and there was nothing between Canada and Nebraska to stop it. The farmers all got together and decided to build a fence across the North Border of the State of Nebraska. . . . the idea being, to stop that cold wind. It might've worked, too. The barbed wire they used was strong enough, .but the real problem was that a couple owners of farms on the upper boarder kept leaving their gates open.
During the month of June and July. Here in the panhandle it got pretty hot in this area. In Fact people were even overworking in the heat. So one day I was working outside in the heat and then i thought i better get inside. My Boss asked me where i was going and i told him i am going inside to cool down . He said that i better get back to work. I said i cant, he said how come.? Because it is so hot out here that i have to go inside to change my mind.
Recently during the heavy rains they have experienced in New England the mail carrier for one neighborhood commeneted on the "pouring rain." Well , atleast the dew point is coming down!
There is a Shreveport cable TV channel that broadcasts the (live) video of the Shreveport radar and the audio of the NOAA weather radio station. When explaining why he knew he should go into meteorology, he said that when he was young, he would sometimes watch the channel even when there were no echoes, just for fun.
Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.
Q. What did one tornado say to the other? A. "Let's twist again, like we did last summer...."