Today jokes
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What's the best day to eat bacon? Fry-day.
What is small, furry and smells like bacon? A hamster.
What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster? You can dip a biscuit in your tea, but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.
Why did the biscuit cry? Because its mother had been a wafer so long.
Have you got any broken biscuits? Yes, I have. Well, you shouldn't be so clumsy!
What did the biscuit say when it saw two friends knocked down? Crumbs!
Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory? Because he went crackers.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread. Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around.
Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to instil good table manners in her girls? She told them that a well brought girl never crumbles her bread or rolls in her soup.
They say she has a sharp tongue. Yes, she can slice bread with it.