Today jokes
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Have you heard the story about the loaf of bread? No. Oh, crumbs.
Why can't you make bread like my mother? I would if you could make dough like your father!
What looks just like half a loaf of bread? Its other half.
Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are we running so fast?" asked one. "Because," said the second, "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"
Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are we running so fast?" asked one. "Because," said the second, "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"
What do cannibals eat for breakfast? Buttered host.
How do you know that a elephant's been in the fridge? There are foot prints in the butter. "
And what's your name?" the secretary asked the next new boy. "Butter." "I hope your first name's not Roland," smirked the secretary. "No, ma'am. It's Brendan."
Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is butter made from imitation cows.
Fred! What did I say I'd do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again? That's funny, Mom. I can't remember either.