Today jokes
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Why are oranges like bells? You can peel (peal) both of them.
How can you make a soup rich? Add 14 carrots (carats) to it.
What could you do if you were on a desert island without food or water? Open your watch: drink from the spring, and eat the sand which is (sandwiches) there.
If there were no food left, what could people do? Country people could eat their forest preserves and city people could have their traffic jams.
What do you get if you cross an alien and a hot drink ? Gravi-tea !
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bacon ! Bacon who ? Bacon a cake for your birthday !
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bean ! Bean who ? Bean working very hard today !
Knock Knock Who's there ! Beef ! Beef who ? Beef fair now !
Knock Knock Who's there ! Butter ! Butter who ? Butter wrap up - it's cold out here !
WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. HUSBAND: Which is this?