Today jokes
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A guy walks in to the Barbershop. Barber says, "What will it be today?" Guy says, "well I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up." Barber says, "Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that." Guy says, "That's how you cut it last time"
There are three ways a man wears his hair - parted- unparted or departed
Why did the Pilgrims create Thanksgiving? They wanted another excuse to watch football.
What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans ? Speaking Latin !
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ? He wanted Mark Antony !
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ? On their feet !
Why does history keep repeating itself ? Because we weren't listening the first time !
Who succeeded the first President of the USA ? The second one !
If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas ? His wife !
When did Caesar reign ? I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him ?