New jokes
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When is your mind like a rumpled bed? When it isn't made up yet.
Why did the kid punch the bed? His mother told him to hit the hay.
Why did the boy take the ruler to bed? He wanted to see how long he slept.
Why did the man take a pencil to bed ? To draw the curtains !
I woke up, went for a walk, my head fell off and rolled away. I picked it up and put it on. A child walked up to me and said: "Good grief, where are your feet?" I must have left them in bed !
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bed ! Bed who ? Bed you can't guess who I am!
What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed? Sleep on the sofa.
How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ? When your nose touches the ceiling !
What do tigers wear in bed ? Stripey pyjamas !
Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals. Juliet: Really? Romeo: Yes, bicycle pedals.