---

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

---

We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

---

There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking.

---

An intelligence service is, in fact, a stupidity service.

---

A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist.

---

The world is so dreadfully managed, one hardly knows to whom to complain.

---

Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress.

---

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.

---

O why was I born with a different face?
Why was I not born like rest of my race?

---

During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

---