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Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

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Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.

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It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously.

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The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.

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To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.

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Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them.

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The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

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The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people--that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature.

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We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.

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The unexamined life is not worth living.

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