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Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

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In California everyone goes to a therapist, is a therapist, or is a therapist going to a therapist.

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Bore: a man who is never unintentionally rude.

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New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

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Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff - it is a palliative rather than a remedy.

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Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

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Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

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I knew her before she was a virgin.

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We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition.

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Celibacy is not hereditary.

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